等一下,全都是大家见鬼的生活中每天那些平淡无聊的琐事吗?
Wait. All those mundane,boring things everybody has to do every day of their fucking life?

这就象国家地理杂志的节目,只不过拍的是人
So it's like a National GEographic program, but on people.

我是拙劣,弱智,粗俗的美国人,不会说其他语言,没有自己的文化,但我尝试过
I'm the crude, dumb,vulgar American ,who doesn't speak other languages,who has no culture. But I tried.

我父母从没真正谈论过我会恋爱结婚生孩子的可能性
My parents never really spoke of the possibility of my falling in love or getting married or having children.

我对我爸爸说我想以写作为业,他就说做记者;我说想开个流浪猫收容所,他就说做兽医;我说想做演艺工作,他就说做电视播音员;
I'd say to my dad, "I want to be a writer."And he'd say, "Journalist."I'd say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats. He'd say, "veterinarian."I'd say I wanted to be an actress.He'd say, "TV newscaster."

如果在这个世界上，有什么样的魔力，它必须是在尝试理解别人分享一些东西。
If there's any kind of magic in this world，it must be in the attempt of understanding someone or sharing something。

在任何事上完全否定你,而是友好地给予支持
Fully contradict you about anything and are nice and supportive.

我憎恨远在千里之外的战争,人们在死亡,但没人知道该怎么做
I hate that

kilometers from here,there's a war,people are dying,and nobody knows what to do.

理论上男人会丧失听高音的能力,而女人会丧失低音听力.
Supposedly, men lose their ability to hear high-pitched sounds and women lose hearing in the low end.

我们都是快乐自由的,只要能满足我的色欲"
We're all happy and free, as long as I can fuck as much as I can."

你象个路过冰淇淋店的小孩,因为妈妈不给他买奶昔而哭闹
You were like a boy walking by an ice-cream store,crying because his mom won't buy him a milk shake.

男人该庆幸没在交配后被咬下头颅,实际上象蜘蛛什么的会那样做?
Men are lucky we don't bite off their heads after mating.Certain insects do that,like spiders and stuff?

我曾为一个老人工作,有次他告诉我,他把一生的心思都放在了事业上,52岁时他突然地发现他从没为自己做过任何事,他这辈子毫无作为
I had worked for this older man,and once he told me,that he had spent all of his life thinking about his career.He was 52,and it suddenly struck him,that he had never really given anything of himself.His life was for no one and nothing.

如果世上有什么奇迹,一定是尽力理解某个人,并与之同甘共苦
If there's any kind of magic in this world,it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something.

你听说过年龄会导致夫妻间失去互相倾听的能力吗?
Have you heard that as couples age they lose their ability to hear each other?

因为,你了解我,我决不会伤害别人,唯一能真正伤害的只有我自己
Because, you know me,I'm the most harmless person.The only person I could really hurt is myself.

有句老话说我们是对方的魔鬼和天使,她无疑是波提且利画笔下的天使,告诉我一切都会好起来
You know how they say we're all each other's demons and angels?Well, she was literally a Botticelli angel,telling me everything would be okay.